Dear Germaine,I don't really know how to tell you this, but your nostrils are insulting. I think
I realized it when i threw up in your sock drawer at the mental hospital and I saw you hit on The Catholic Priest. Im sure you're senile enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage man.Im returning your Hannah Montanna underwear to you, but I'll keep my common sense as a memory. You should also know that I mocked you behind your back constantly and I will haunt you when I'm
reincarnated as an Eskimo.
Best of luck on the sex change,
Olivia (:
Here's how you do it:
Dear (someone you recently talked to),
I don't really know how to tell you this, but (1). I think i realized it (2) (3) and I saw
you (4) (5). I'm sure you're (6) enough to understand (7). I'm returning (8) to you,
but I'll keep (9) as a memory. You should also know that I (10) and (11).
(12),
(Your name)
======================================================================
1) What's the color of your shirt ?
Blue - I'm in love with your cat
Red - Our affair is over
White - I'm joining the Convent
Black - Our romance is over
Green - Our socks don't match
Grey - You're a leprechaun
Yellow - I'm selling myself for candy
Pink - Your nostrils are insulting
Brown - The mafia wants you
No shirt - Purple hedgehogs want to destroy you
Other - I dislike your eyelashes
2) Which is your birth month ?
January - That night you picked your nose
February - When I quoted Forest Grump
March - When your dwarf bit me
April - When I tripped on peanut butter
May - When I finally changed my underwear
June - When you put cuffs on me
July - When I saw the purple monkey
August - When you smacked my ass
September - Last year when you peed your pants
October - When we skinny dipped in the bathtub
November - When your dog humped my leg
December - When i threw up in your sock drawer
3) Which food do you prefer ?
Tacos - In your apartment
Chicken - In your car
Pasta - Outside the office
Hamburgers - Under the bus
Salad - As you were eating Kraft Dinner
Lasagna - In your closet
Kebab - With Jean Chretien
Seafood - In a clown suit
Sandwhiches - At the Elton John concert
Pizza - At the mental hospital
Hot Dog - Under a street light
Annat - With George Bush and Stephen Harper
4) What's the color of your socks ?
Yellow - Ignore
Red - Put whipped cream on
Black - Hit on
Purple - Pour syrup on
White - Carve your initials into
Grey - Pull the clothes off
Brown - Bite off
Orange - Castrate
Pink - Pull the pants off of
Barefoot - Sin on
Other - Drive over
5) Whats the color of your underwear ?
Black - My boyfriend
White - My father
Grey - The catholic priest
Brown - The Montreal Canadian's goalie
Purple - My corned beef hash
Red - My knee caps
Blue - My salt-beef bucket
Yellow - My illegimate child in Ghana
Orange - My Blink 182 CD
Pink - Your 'My little Pony' collection
Other - The elephant in the corner
6) What do you prefer to watch on TV ?
One Tree Hill - Senile
Heroes - Frostbitten
Lost - High
Simpsons - Cowardly
The news - Scarred
American Idol - Masochistic
Family guy - Open
Top Model - Middle-class
Annat - sHAMED
7) Your mood right now ?
Happy - How awful you are
Sad - How boring you are
Bored - That I get turned on only by garbage men
Angry - That your smell makes me vomit
Depressed - That we're related
Excited - That I may pee in my pants
Nervous - The middle-east is planning their revenge on you
Worried - That your Ford sucks
Apathetic - That you need sex-change
Silly - That i'm allergic to your earlobes
Cuddly - That santa doesn't exist
Ahsamed - That there is no solution to you being a dumb kid
Other - That your driving sucks
8) Whats the color of your walls in your bedroom ?
White - Your toe ring
Yellow - Your love letters from me
Red - The pictures from Vegas
Black - Your pet rock
Blue - The couch cushions
Green - Your car
Orange - Your false teeth
Brown - Your nose hair clippers
Grey - Our matching snoopy underwear
Purple - Your old New Kids on the Block blanket
Pink - The cut toenails
Other - Your hannah montana underwear
9) The first letter of your first name ?
A/B - My virginity
C/D - Your photo with the mustache drawn on it
E/F - Your neighbours dog
G/H - The oil tank from your car
I/J - Your left eat
K/L - The results of that blood-sample
M/N - Your glass eye
O/P - My common sense
Q/R - Your mom
S/T - Your collection of butterflies
U/V - Your criminal record
W/X - Your suicide note
Y/Z - Your credit cards
10) The last letter in your name ?
A/B - Love you sweet, sweet ass
C/D - Always will remember the pep talks
E/F - Never will forget that night
G/H - Will not tell the authorities that you stole the whale from the backyard
I/J - Mocked you behind your back constantly
K/L - Hate your cooking
M/N - Told in my confession about the moose poaching
O/P - Told my psychiatrist about the bruises
Q/R - Get sick when I think of your feet
S/T - Always wanted to break your legs
U/V - Will try to forget that you broke my heart
W/X - Haven't showered in a month
Y/Z - Am better off without you
11) What do you prefer to drink ?
Wine - Our friendship is ruined
Soft Drink - Im off to lead a new life as a lemon
Soda - I will haunt you when I'm reincarnated as an Eskimo
Milk - The apartment building is on fire
Water - I'm scratching my butt as you read this
Cider - I have a passionate interest for mice
Juice - You ruined my attempts at another war
Vitamin water - You should get that embarrasing rash checked out
Hot chocolate - Your cucumber-fetishism is weird
Whiskey - I love Oprah Winfrey
Beer - Thanks for the Cocaine
Other - You should stop picking your nose
12) To which country would you prefer to go on a vactation ?
Thailand - Warm tinqly sensations
Australia - Greetings to your frog Leonard
France - Love always
Spain - With tears of sadness
Chine - You make me sick
Germany - Please don't hurt me
Japan - Go milk a cow
Greece - Your everlastinq enemy
USA - Best of luck on the sex change
Eqypt - Kiss my ass
Enqland - Go drown yourself
